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Ebil Wibbles

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1 Saiyuki fic [Aug. 15th, 2004|12:29 am]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |coldcold]

Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Fic: The Backrub Incident
Author: I don't remember...I suck, haha Sanza-chan
Semi-Precious Gem Count: Too many for my brain to hold
General Impressions: Hm, sounds like the author is grasping for details?
Length: Eh, it's not short, but it's not Michelle Lancaster long.

The Incident Fics are a wonderful thing, but some of them make me wonder... Like this one, with its various absences of commas and prolific use of amethysts and emeralds:

It'd been several long hours since the Sanzo-ikkou had last stopped and out of the corner of the green eyed youkai's eye he could sense the look of pain in their leader's amethysts. Wait, what color was the green eyed youkai's eye? ;) And the amethysts were too strong to vocalize their pain. They didn't like to appear weak or anything...

The brunette was probably a mere few inches away from him and those eyes... they sparkled like emeralds. Sanzo's amethysts are getting lonely.

The scent of pine and earthly incenses drowned the monk's senses, sending a whirlwind of emotions coursing throughout his entire body. Incenses...senses...haha. Why don't they just say that the fanon-scent of Hakkai aroused Sanzo? Emotions my ass ;)

And why does Hakkai smell like pine? Who randomly said that Hakkai smelled like pine? Where does this random bit of fanon come from? What if I want Hakkai to smell like sweat (eww)? Hehe, being in that hot sun all day and wearing those hot clothes, he probably doesn't smell anywhere near pine :D

Sanzo was straddling him now and staring at him with hazy amethyst eyes. Hazy amethyst eyes...? Amethyst: "Oh no, we've decreased in value now!" How can Sanzo see with amethyst eyes? :P A smirk spread over the monk's lips as he relished in the fact that he had rendered the emerald eyed man speechless. Well, if Hakkai's blind, too, it's probably just as well. Watch...some night after losing all their money in gambling, Gojyo's going to sneak into their room while they're sleeping and pawn Hakkai's emeralds and Sanzo's amethysts...

Comma: "Ahhh! I missed the field trip bus to The Backrub Incident! Oh no, I'm really in hot water now!" ...Poor comma. It's really going to get the hell beaten out of it for missing this fic...

Amethyst and emerald stared into one another for several seconds before the owner of the amethysts claimed the emerald's lips. And the semi-precious stones began having X-ray-vision eye sex, whee! Amethyst to Sanzo: "Dude, you kissed my lover!" Maybe Sanzo got horribly confused and thought it was the Blarney Stone or something...?

Despite my wibbling, this fic does sport one of the best lines I've read in a while: I'm not going to even ask what kind of kinky shit went on in this room.

...Okay, maybe it's just me... ^^;;


EDIT: Ah, I slack! It seems that Sanza-chan is relatively young and that this is her first (Saiyuki?) fic. Or that's what the grapevine seems to be saying.

...Yes, my grapevine is starswan, shut up :P
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1 HP fic [Jun. 17th, 2004|06:45 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |rushedrushed]
[music |Tonic - Top Falls Down]

Series: Harry Potter
Fic: Thing
Author: Cimorene and Wax Jism
Pairings: Remus/Sirius, Remus/Lily
General Impressions: Beautiful.
Length: Er, it's long.

There are very few words to adequately describe Cimorene and Wax Jism's Thing...but I'll take a crack at it anyway:

Incredible.

Beautiful.

Long.

Nostalgic.

Vaguely kinky.

Based on experience, this story is best read on a rainy day with an afternoon completely free of distractions or responsibilities. Plan for this one. It'll take awhile. There are in excess of eight 'parts' (nine or ten?), but each part, save the last one, is broken up into two (i and ii). i tells the story in real time, of Sirius' journey to Remus' house, and then once he's there and all. ii tells the backstory of the Maurauders and provides more insight into what happened (or will happen) in part i. At first it's confusing because the layout of this story is like no other, but then...then it's wonderful.

A definite must-read for any Remus/Sirius fan.

However, the (ii)s always leave me feeling vaguely sad at the end, like my own life is inadequate, or something. If someone asked me how I spent my adolescent years, I would have to tell them inside myself, which is, unfortunately, not as kinky as it ought to be. I suck.
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1 Saiyuki fic [May. 14th, 2004|03:29 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |annoyedannoyed]
[music |SSH - Blue]

Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Fic: Truth Behind the Smile
Author: Winged Nothingness
Random?: Very
General Impressions: I dissolved into naughty bad-teen-angst giggles at the first mention of Hakkai cutting himself...
Length: Nine chapters...incomplete?

When I first read Truth Behind the Smile, I burst out laughing at this one part. It wasn't really funny, either; it was mean, awful, and cruel...

Therefore, it made me laugh.

OMFGHakkaiissabulimicanorexiccutter.

Okay, normally, I would not laugh. I might actually even be forced to think under normal circumstances...but with the way it's written, I have to laugh. It's so...the word for what I want to say escapes me. But it's funny. Wait, no it's not; wait again, yes it is.

It's so melodramatic and oh god, the teen angst!! Also, it feels like things just...randomly happen for no good reason.

Events in the story: Hakkai cuts himself, but nobody cares. Wait, yes they do! ...No, they really don't. Hakkai slits his wrists. Sanzo cares. Sanzo rescues him, in fact. Hakkai kisses him. Goku and Gojyo find out about Hakkai's Scars. Sanzo doesn't care. Wait, yes he does. Hakkai is stupid. Hakkai loves Sanzo. ...No, he doesn't. Sanzo cares about Hakkai's feelings. Sanzo cuts, too. Sanzo kisses Hakkai. They Are Not Alone, literally. Gojyo barges in. Hakkai is OOC during the entire fic; the author fuses herself with him because she thinks she's 'deep' or something.

And wibbles is ebil and laughs.

I must be exaggerating, it hasn’t been that long since I started...my period.
No, really, you have to watch where you end things, unless you want your readers' minds to wander and think of other things, because they're obviously not all that focused on what you wrote...
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1 Yami fic [Apr. 30th, 2004|03:02 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |hothot]
[music |Era - Divano]

Series: Yami no Matsuei
Fic: Heart in the Soul
Author: chibi chibi gurl
Signs: "this little star thingy(*) means posable spelling error" [as opposed to the non-bendable type]
General Impressions: I laughed hard and then wibbled it.
Length: One chapter, perhaps continued?

starza first drew attention to this fic in a recent post, saying that it made her weep, and not in the good way. I took one look at it and decided it must be wibbled.

Actual text from the story in italics:
Cut to spare your brain cellsCollapse )

Other than that, there's honestly not much else you can say :)
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[edit] Under the Cover of Night [Apr. 27th, 2004|11:53 am]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |confusedconfused]
[music |Madonna - Beautiful Stranger]

I don't know what the hell happened with the last entry since all the html was right... LJ won't let me edit it, so I will share with you what Under the Cover of Night was supposed to be:

Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Fic: Under the Cover of Night
Author: Laree
Pairings: "Sanzo x Hakkai/ Implied Goku x Sanzo"
General Impressions: Excellent
Length: One chapter and, unfortunately, unlikely to be continued

This has to be one of my favorite Saiyuki fics ever. Really. Goku wakes up to Sanzo trying to get in Hakkai's pants (to put it inelegantly) and observes their lovemaking. This is another fic where I absolutely refuse to acknowledge any faults :)
You get to see and hear a lot of things that you’re not really supposed to when you’re a kid. People just tended to assume that you wouldn’t understand whatever it was that was going on or they just completely ignored you, thinking you of little consequence.
That line from the story really describes a lot of what's happening and just...there's something about it that makes it simply wonderful. If I could figure out just exactly what it was, then I'd take the secret and run with it.

One of those beautiful, magical things.

Since reading Hakkai Takes a Break (I love the pregnant Hakkai part--no no, this isn't a hideous mpreg!), I've absolutely adored Laree's narrative. Perhaps it was because I was so wrapped up in the story, but I failed to notice any bad sentence variety (*shock*) or anything I could be even remotely snarky about.

Even with the implied 393, the story is like Teflon: nothing bad could possibly stick to it.
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1 Zelda fic, 1 Saiyuki fic [Apr. 5th, 2004|04:27 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |Saiyuki - Proud Of My Loneliness [Goku]]

Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Faded Illusions
Author: TiresiaS
Laughable Things: "Worm" breath and Sheik's "penus"
General Impressions: >:D <--cruel, laughing face
Length: Three chapters, sadly

I have to admit, I skimmed through this at first...but what made me stop was when I caught sight of the word "penus." After laughing and mentally making fun of it some time later, I knew I actually had to read the whole thing.

The spelling, while not atrocious (sadly, I have seen worse), is quite bad, and the very words of the story, trying to portray some seriousness and maturity, I'm sure, come off as cliche and badly written (and, to boot, you can tell the author was using a thesaurus)... Read the very first two sentences (He made love to me last night. I don't know how it happened but it did). Now imagine the rest of the fic as a hundred fold times worse. Much worse. See, now you don't even have to read this horribly awful fic!

But alas, for the sake of simple, childish snark, I do.

And I start with that second sentence: I don't know how it happened but it did. What, wasn't he there when it happened? Was he drugged/drunk and simply doesn't remember? Or was the Hero of Time so pure and out of it that night that he had no idea what the hell Sheik did to him, only knowing that they 'made love' and all that garbage? No, no, I'll refrain to save my snark for other parts...

The story is pure cheese, honestly. Take, for instance, this example: I can't say his name, no it's too painful, I won't, but I must. Sheik. And that's quite mild compared to some things... Combined with the rather awful sex scene, you have garbage. Cheesy, cliche garbage. Of course, snark fodder as well :)

A little under halfway through the story, you come across the hilarious little misspelling for the first time: Two instances of worm breathCollapse )

And then we get to my other favorite: An instance of penusCollapse )

More short, yet retarded snarkCollapse )

Of course, that was the first part. Rough synopsis: Link remembers the night he and Sheik had sex ('cause, you know, they lurve each other so much...), but then Sheik betrays him. The second and third parts are purely random, floaty things that don't exactly make much sense as a fic...


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Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Fic: Superficiality
Author: Fall
AN #2: "What about Goku? No, there is no shounen-ai implication between him and Sanzo. He was just upset when he heard what happened, after all, he always looks out for the monk. So what was he doing outside the door anyway? I don’t know, probably checking whether Sanzo had eaten or something."
General Impressions: I love it!
Length: One-shot

I'm usually not a big fan of angst, seeing as how much of it in fics seems terribly overdone and drawn out, like they keep beating a dead horse, but, while getting into the 383 Saiyuki fandom, I realized that, well, I had a masochistic urge for angst with those two. It wasn't the usual not-really-angst angst I wanted this time, though - it was that...sad sort of angst. Something that's very much a feeling and difficult to describe in words.

Well, now I don't have to describe it in words, seeing as how I found a fic to perfectly illustrate my meaning and desire. When I came across this wonderful fic by Fall, it was like I hadn't even known that it was the very thing that I wanted so much. And as a fair warning, whatever faults this fic may have, I am entirely blind to them.

The fic is based on the idea of a lovers' quarrel...Here I spoil the wonderful turning point of the storyCollapse )

Argh, I love it.

However, there were just some parts that left me thinking that if I was in a relationship and something like that happened...that would so just fly over my head. Sanzo and Hakkai are rather perceptive to each other in this fic. Perhaps they're meant to be? ^_~
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1 Cain fic [Mar. 20th, 2004|07:38 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |SSH - Lirva]

Series: Count Cain
Fic: Bloody Valentine
Author: Daemon Queen Lilith
Curious Sentence: "Just as a warning it’s going to get very gory." Now, is that an odd term for sexual, or are Riff and Cain going to do something very kinky?
General Impressions: Is English her first language...?
Length: One chapter, unfinished.

The writing is...well, if English isn't the author's first language, then it's not that bad. If it is then, well, she seriously needs a remedial course in writing...

The first chapter itself doesn't seem to have much of a point, although I got a kick out of Cain thinking that he was bisexual and wondering about Riff. They actually say 'homosexual' and 'bisexual' which is, in my experience, rather rare. It comes off as odd, and it makes me wonder when those terms came about...

Anyway, it states that Riff has never been with a woman. Allow me to state my own opinions on that matter. As much as I think that Riff is a repressed and closet SRG (stark-raving gay) case, I find it rather doubtful that he has never been with a woman. After all, there is Lucinda, and while it may not have been an engagement of love or even the slightest attraction...Riff has had some contact with women. Although it's also highly unlikely that he and Lucinda ever knew each other sexually (this is Victorian London, after all), there is also the fact that during that time prostitutes ran abound. And combined with Rifael's supposed nature, and the longing for sexual fulfillment that men apparently get, it's rather likely that he might have taken advantage of the opportunity. Also, there's the curious fact that somewhere in Godchild, we saw a woman hanging off Riff's shoulders...

But of course, that probably means that Riff has some funky disease now, eww.

Getting back to the story...Cain mulls over whether his beloved butler would accept or reject his blatantly gay advances (whoo, the best kind). And then, at the very end of the story, he leans up and kisses Riff in a wonderful cliffhanger. It actually makes me want to read more. Whoo.

Of course, Daemon Queen Lilith is apparently a Sakura-Crisis junky whose only read up to 'Vol 7, Chapter 1' (Butterfly Bone in Godchild #2). People should really get off their lazy asses and go read the translations before attempting to write a fic.

What, with the series being over and near-fully translated and all...
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2 Zelda fics [Mar. 12th, 2004|10:09 am]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |Windwaker - Curse of the Night]

Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Together Forever
Author: Relm - Gau's Girl
Cheesiness: Would you like some wine with that?
General Impressions: Oh my god, I can't believe this was actually written, and I can't believe I'm actually reading it...
Length: One-shot

To tell the truth, my first impressions do not accurately portray the fic. It's not awful, and it's most certainly not the worst thing I've ever written. ...So what was it about this that made me point and laugh?

Maybe it was the overly defensive and hostile author's note, or the fact that she spelled 'yaoi' incorrectly the second time around ('yoai'? OMFG, screw yaoi - yoai's the next big thing!!).

Perhaps it was because the cliches and redundencies within the fandom were packed tightly into one small fic, or maybe it was because half the fic was a true narrative of the game's events.

Even still, it could have been how Sheik taught Link the 'Noctorn of Shadow' instead of the Nocturne, or how Link acted like an angsty and angry teen throughout the whole of it.

It could also have been how Ganondorf was called 'Ganondork' in a fic that seemed to take itself too seriously, or how Link and Sheik randomly meet and kiss and it's all okay.

Perhaps it was the awfully contrived sex scene in the middle that made you want to retch for ever reading such a badly written part, or perhaps it was the fact that you wanted to retch because you know you've seen a similar, awfully contrived sex scene with a similar plot many times before.

Maybe it was the fact that Link, Sheik, and Zelda all lived as a happy family at the end, and Link and Sheik even married, being together forever...

Perchance.


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Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Different Chances
Author: tir-synni
Warning: "shounen-ai, implied mpreg, HyliansxGorons (need I say more on that one?), unbeta'd"
General Impressions: XD This is great!
Length: One chapter, hopefully more.

I cannot stress how wonderful this fic is. No, it's not the writing or anything that makes it stellar. For once, it's the actual story: Link meets Darunia while having the Goron mask on and Darunia tries to do it with him :)

Brilliant.

Much like the Link/Epona fic, something like this is simply too good for words.
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1 Cain fic, 1 Zelda fic [Feb. 29th, 2004|04:36 pm]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |accomplished]
[music |SSH - Black and White]

Series: Count Cain
Fic: A Final Knowledge
Author: Kireira
Word Count: 342
General Impressions: Wow, this is really short...
Length: Really short.

Well, I suppose that there's not much to say for this fic, other than the fact that it's really short. Easy reading. Take a couple seconds aside, you'll be back to your daily life.

As far as the writing is concerned, I have no real complaints, but then nothing says "Hey, I'm cool!" at me. And even if it did, I'd probably say "Hi" and walk away. Really, I think that's what we all should do with this fic. I don't see the real point, any stylistic narrative, anything at all other than an artistic summary of Riff and Cain's relationship, at best.

It's really just one of those "uh...okay" things.

I'd like to mention some things about the author's notes, though. Kireira writes, ...so pardon me if what I wrote contradicts any event that happens... [in the manga]. Not to be snarky (blatant lie), but honey, you've barely written anything to contradict in the first place.

Anyway, there's a spelling error that easily could have been avoided. Oh yeah, the entire thing is 342 words, if you didn't catch that before. Not much of a fic there, is there?


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Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Desert Rose
Author: Zephren
Sentence Variety: Sucky, in all it's evilness.
General Impressions: Oh no, multiple people speaking within the same paragraph...how evil.
Length: One chapter, supposedly more?

Zelda yuri. Sounds like good fun, right?

Only if Zephren didn't write it. (that was overly mean, wasn't it? Oh well. Ebil Wibbles strikes again...)

I like yuri as much as the next gal, but in comparison to yaoi, I'm much harder to please (didn't think it was possible, did ya?!), so that leads me into thinking that most yuri either sounds like it was written by a prepubescent teenager, or a dirty old man. Perhaps it's just me and my odd preferences, but I'd rather read a well-written yuri fic by, preferrably for obvious reasons, a lesbian, or someone who, well, knows.

As far as my point, Shy Prepubescent is what this falls under, but perhaps that's just because of the bad writing. In all reality, though, the writing may not be half as bad as I make it out to be, but really, multiple people speaking in the same paragraph is just plain evil.

Spawn of Satan type of evil.

Like a porcupine prone to combustion on a rainy day.

Or worse, the Olsen Twins.

Can't get much worse than that, don't think. Anyway, back to the fic...Zelda, inviting Malon to a party, runs over to Lon Lon Ranch, only to find Malon sleeping naked under a tree. Sadly, though, Zelda doesn't do anything yuri-ish when she wakes her up. With Princess Zelda as OOC, it starts to rain, figuratively.

Cue the porcupines.

So to travel back to the castle, Zelda and Malon, good friends, race back, the winner getting to kiss Link. Malon wins, and poor Wibbles is left wondering where the yuri is.

Oh here it is. Malon all of a sudden runs into this Gerudo named Serena who promptly feels her up in addition to giving her a smooch. The red-headed ranch hand is apparently Not Okay with this, but then the Gerudo goes away, and then the fic dies.

RAWR.

Oh look, a pirate smiley!!! :)?
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2 Zelda fics [Feb. 22nd, 2004|10:14 am]
Ebil Wibbles
[mood |boredbored]
[music |SSH - Crystal]

Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Dance With the Devil
Author: Rochelle
Warnings: Beware the nasty rape scene at the outset and a good deal of general angst. And did I mention this is yaoi?
General Impressions: ...uhh...
Length: Two parts

I first recognized the author from the Rufus/Reno (FFVII) fics she once wrote, and that made me very happy because I remembered them in fondness. However, this fic of hers now is something that I'm liable not to regard kindly. Obligatory sentence variety summary: Needs work. Now to the actual fic...

It starts off with Ganondorf being all pervy and raping poor Link when he goes to save Zelda. Um, okay. All right, I can deal with that, considering I was fairly indifferent to the whole scene anyway. In fact, I spent the entire scene not in revulsion of the entire rape act (which I should have been), but pondering the occasions whereupon crying is appropriate. Now, I do realize that some people cry more often than others, but I happen to be one of those people for whom crying is rare (and consequently a big deal), so it's a bit hard for me to understand why some people (and characters) cry so much. Hey, empathy can only extend so far, you know?

Death = understandable
Anger = quite understandable
Happiness = to an extent
Depression/Self-Pity = sure
All other situations = uhhhhh...

So there, I bring to you my fault. Now, getting back on track, I, thankfully, have never been raped, so I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like. Thus the reason why I dislike reading rape fics: not because of the act, but because I can't imagine what it must feel like...and I'm quite skeptical of fanfiction helping me understand that. So really, while I feel I have no place to judge on this, it seems fairly okay to my ignorant eyes.

But honestly, I must have ADD or something because my mind kept wandering. Actually, before pondering the appropriateness of crying, I thought about this line: Link shouted in frustration, still trying to get away. "Go to Hell!"

Do the Hylians have a Heaven or Hell? I mean, I know they have the Sacred Realm and the Golden Land, which must be something like Heaven, but what about Hell? Even if they had Hell, would they call it that? Ponder ponder ponder...

So anyway, Dance With the Devil also features Sheik, surprisingly enough (only surprising to me, by the way, because I didn't exactly read the beginning notes/crap this time...), and he's a real live boy! Like Pinochio, only without the nose. The Sheikah is apparently two years older than our hero, Link, and lives with his mother in a van down by the river a forest on the northeast side of Death Mountain. Impa is his aunt and she and Zelda took refuge in their humble little abode. Everything's all nice and hunkey-dorey when the time comes for the Hero of Time to wake up and blah. Sheik persuades Zelda to let him meet the hero, but alas, oh cruel fate, he ends up falling in love at first sight. And this love seems to consist mainly of admiration for Link's body and desires to kiss, hold, etc. him. Then Zelda finds out that Sheik likes guys, and she's an apparent bitch about it. I guess because uh...she wants Link all to herself...or something. So she goes 'incognito' in Sheik's place for the Shadow, Spirit, and Light Temple parts, and ends up in that little crystal of hers.

But Sheik saves Link (not Zelda, though :P) because uh...he's cool, or something (oh yeah, Sheik can't save Zelda because only the Hero of Time can)... Then we find out how our dear princess found out about Sheik's part-time homosexuality (and I say 'part-time' simply because it said that Sheik's mother knew he 'liked' guys sometimes). See, it was after the Water Temple and Link was changing into dry clothes...but oh no, Sheik didn't mean to look, no, of course not. A strapping young man in the nude...oh no, no one ever means to look at that... ^_~ (perhaps this is simply an illustration to you of my lack of morals...) The part that really got me (and would have offended my sense of propriety, had I had any) was how it said that as soon as Sheik was alone in his room, he masterbated (okay, Rochelle didn't exactly come out and say that, but it was implied, ya know?) to the memory of water over Link's skin, 'droplets catching the light of the sun setting like tiny diamonds as they dripped from his hair, down his back, over his chest, accentuating every line, curve and crevice of his firm young body' (yes, it really said that). Oh yeah. And Zelda heard.

XD That cracked me up.

Huzzah, though, huzzah. Link mysteriously knew of Sheik's elusive feelings and feels the same way. End Part One.

And Begin Part Two. Don't say I didn't warn you...Collapse ) The End.

Dammit, now I know why slash has such a bad rep...


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Series: The Legend of Zelda
Fic: Hero of Destiny
Author: Ace
WTF-ness: Unbelievable...
General Impressions: OMGWTFBBQ
Length: Four parts that aren't even a page in length...in other words, it's short

My Sheik...my sweet, sweet Sheik...what have you DONE to him, Ace?!

Fic in a nutshell: Sheik wears dresses and is mommy to his and Link's little adopted boy.

Now, please excuse me while I run off to have violent convulsions...
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